Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
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