Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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