Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I checked into jail on foursquare
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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