Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
