Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
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