we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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