I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
