the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
