she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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