Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
