Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
