I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize