Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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