very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
