I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize