If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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