I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
