So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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