I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
