I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
