Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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