If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Less talking, more tequila
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize