You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
