we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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