when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We talked him into tasing himself.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
