my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
