Sorry, I don't speak sober.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
