I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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