No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
