What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize