I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
