is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
sex in a hospital.. check
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
