There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize