it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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