Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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