He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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