I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
