When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He felt like a one man threesome
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
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