I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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