fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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