I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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