I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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