this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
