Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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