i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize