McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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