all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
