think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
