Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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