Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
