I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
