I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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