I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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