If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
