At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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