Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
