So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
