butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
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