is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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