I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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