drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
