The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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