Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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