What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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