"it" just moved
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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