There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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