Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
