I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
