I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
