One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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