Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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