fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize