we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
