he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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