Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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